Posts tagged: life
I never get tired of watching this short by Mickey Smith. The visuals with his narration of how he lives his life as you watch him live it. Living life because he is doing what he loves, so he never works a day of his life, he lives the freedom most of us will never understand or achieve for whatever the reasons are. All I know is I will get there, doing what I love so that I never work a day in my life
I think Queensofbattle got it right with the title to his video. ” When you do what you love, you never work a day in your life”
I do love my guns, I don’t have a rifle other than a crappy 22lr I’ve had for a few years, I’m more focused still on my pistol shooting and mastering those fundamentals before adding a rifle. I also rode a motorcycle for a while but haven’t in years now do a few reasons.
But aside from the guns and my motorcycle, I do miss doing my photography and videography. Those of you who have followed me for a while know I did both at one time and was doing it quite. I enjoyed doing photography and video on really anything it didn’t matter, it ties into things that I love to do and then just broadens it all. I was even looking at a Canon 7D or 5D MK II or MKIII this morning. The enjoyment of life vs the dull mundane everyday job, which is not what I need or want anymore. Time never slows for anyone, and life keeps moving forward never backwards only we go backwards.
by Suzanne Grosser.
Dealing with your PTSD may be the most difficult thing you ever do. Trauma is devastating and healing is demanding. But this may be the most rewarding and beneficial time you ever spend on yourself. You can experience Post Traumatic Growth.
As you work through your pain, confront your fears, and face the truth about life, you will gain some precious things.
You learn who your friends are. These are the people who tried to help you. They listened to you rant when you were angry, held your hand when you were scared, and gave you a tissue when you were sad. These are the people who didn’t dump you even though you were being impossible. These are the ones who got in your face and told you that you were being impossible, even though you didn’t want to hear it. Now that you’re getting better, you realize how grateful you are for them. PTSD has shown you who really cares about you.
You discover the real you. You aren’t a superhero. Damn. You aren’t perfect. Double-Damn. This one really hurts me because I spent most of my life trying to be perfect or at least pretending that I was perfect. Now though, the secret is out, the pressure is off. You don’t have to pretend to be a superhero anymore and I don’t have to pretend to be perfect anymore. Post traumatic stress disorder has cured us of our inflated egos.
You gain respect for yourself. You’ve learned how strong you really are. Not superhero strong, but not bad for an imperfect human being with no super powers. You survived this! You are scarred but you survived, and even if you’re still messed up, you are here reading this, which means you are looking for good stuff to come out of it. That is huge! PTSD has shown you the value of the real you.
You learn what you really believe. Some people come out of trauma with a deeper faith in religion. Others reject religion all together. For most of us, religion is part of the package of “should’s” and “ought to’s” handed to us as children. We are taught what we “should” believe and what we “ought to” do. Trauma kills the “should’s” and the “ought to’s”. What survives the trauma, whatever serves you well during your agony is worth keeping. Dump the rest. You will clear the way for the truth. If post traumatic stress has taught you anything, it is the value of the truth.
You can stop worrying. You can quit worrying about a lot of things, because you have already been there. You don’t have to worry about whether your friends are real friends. You don’t have to worry about being perfect, or a superhero. You don’t have worry if you’re a hypocrite when you sit in a church pew. You don’t even have to worry about being hurt again – because you know that you can survive it. And you know that it won’t destroy the real you. PTSD has made you resilient.
If you are in a relationship with a PTSD sufferer, you have asked yourself this question many times. If you are thinking of ending that relationship, there are a lot of questions you should be asking yourself. Click here to learn more.
You learn what is important to you. A lot of things that you once spent a lot of time and effort on before your trauma, may seem kind of silly to you now. Buying all those clothes or fussing over your hair just to look good at work. Important then. Silly now. Or for you, it could be the opposite: maybe you never put much effort into your appearance. Now you see it as a sign of respect for yourself. Whatever is important you, you now pursue. Post traumatic stress disorder has given you the clarity to respect your own values.
You learn who is important to you. And who you should let go of. Some relationships are too painful and too troubled to continue. Let them go. Make time in your life for the people you want to have around you. Thank them for being there. You now have the courage to follow your heart.
You become more compassionate. You hid your pain for a long time, didn’t you? So now you know that people can be suffering, yet never show it to those around them. If you could hide your pain so successfully, others can too. So if someone is irritable in the supermarket checkout line, you don’t get irritable back. You smile. Perhaps offer a word of encouragement. At the very least, you smile at the cashier when it’s your turn. See, don’t you like you better already? Post traumatic stress disorder has made you kinder.
You are less judgmental. You know what it’s like to judged. You know that things are not always as they seem. You realize that you can never know another person well enough to judge them fairly. You learned these things the hard way. PTSD has made you less rigid and more open-minded.
You discover a new purpose for your life. Trauma smacks you around, spins your life in new directions. Some of those directions you might not like. Others you will choose to follow. You have come face to face with some really awful things. You have accepted that some things can and should be changed.And you have decided you are going to be part of that change. PTSD has given you a new purpose.
We all grow up with other people telling us who we are and what our lives should be like. We made ourselves fit in with the people the around us, because that was all we knew. We developed habits and accepted ideas often without much thought. Trauma changes all that. Post traumatic stress disorder forces us to face ourselves and your life. It also frees us to choose who we will be and what our lives will be about. Your life is yours now, what are you going to do with it?
Anyone who follows Funker530 on youtube has probably seen some of the firefight footage there. But I had not realized the full length movie had been released several months ago so here it is. This follows MSOT (Marine Special Operations Team) 8222 through their time Bala Murghab Afghanistan, along with members of ODA Team 1314, members of the 82nd Airborne, US Airmen and Sailors and Italian Soldiers of the 183rd Airborne.
The first day of 2014 is almost over, and for me personally it is time to refocus on things that I love. I have spent a good long time not doing the things that I enjoy doing because of just life happening and that consuming my time, and just energy with all that seemingly endless shit that is going with me. But that is not to deter me from goals I had been pursuing for years until I hit my break. I do truly miss doing my photography and making video’s, motorcycles and generally enjoying life. But the good news is that it is still winter so things are still calm people wise which affords me chances to get out and restart without losing focus and distraction. I am looking to meeting up with another local photographer whom I’ve said something about meeting up almost a year ago.
As far as 2013, well it was a rough year, just a shit ton of things going on family wise coupled with my own personal issues. But most of those things have passed, and my own issues well those are things I have to learn about as they come forward and then live with.
We’ve had this rain all day up until around 4pm EST today. I just got home from Walgreens and getting a few thing. I just happened to look up to notice how clear the night sky was and also how well I could see many stars considering where I live is in a very light polluting area. Had brief thoughts of seeing the galaxy while I was out in the middle Pacific Ocean standing on the flight deck at night no land within a thousand miles of us, or how I was smoking a cigarette at night in the middle of nowhere Afghanistan, just looking at the stars and watching my cherry moving up and down as my hand moved to and from my mouth. Either way appreciating life is just that, appreciating life.
This Will Destroy You, always has awesome ambient music.
Scrolling through my previous posts, I think this picture does the best to sum up why I loved motorcycles and riding. Not to be in a club, or at a gas station hanging out, or who can go the fastest from one stop light to the next downtown in 100 meters. It was so I could be free, to enjoy life and other beautiful things about it, the mountains in George Washington park behind me, the calm and beauty, just a few friends who all love to ride enjoying and living why they love to ride. I’ll get back there, or at least I hope I do assuming my medical condition steaming from my TBI doesn’t put a permanent end to that. And even if it does, the thought of doing something motorcycle vise for Veterans and Active Military alike has been a constant thought in my mind for quite a while now.
Interesting, I’d actually like to ask her questions in person and see why and who she has become.
I used to ride motorcycles, and have been following On the Throttle TV (OTT) for several years now. The last episode from them concerning James Compton and Jake Holden’s journey of riding in Pike Peak was months ago. They just put out the last episode, it’s a mini movie and well worth watching, not so much for the motorcycle part, but just for the life experience part. Excellent work to the guys at OTT and also to James and Jake and for making it up the mountain and staying safe.
7th grade 1996-1997, first time I can remember where I noticed I felt an attraction to a classmate of mine and the first time I remember how I thought to myself black girls are beautiful.
I remember being at KRMH (Kandahar Regional Military Hospital) I remember the ER had someone in there who was having to get either a limb or just bone removed as there was a saw being used. I also remember going into the ICU where a Afghan Police Officer was on a ventilator. The doctors explain he had come in around 8 hours prior. Poor bastard was a victim of a IED strike, triple amputee, both legs, one at or below knee, other above knee, and left arm below elbow. I remember thinking something like, (fuck me this guy is fucking wrecked) never seen anything like that before in my life up close. But the thought of well I know there is probably someone at Role 3 right now, one of our guys with injuries just like this, a sad and yet very angering thought. The doctors also showed us photo’s of some of the more extreme injuries they have had to treat, one guy had a pad lock embedded in his face, bastards put that in a IED as shrapnel.
When I see white Toyota Highlander or Sequoia SUV my heart starts to race, and then I am automatically brought back to Afghanistan in a flashback involving a white Toyota Highlander being just feet from our M-ATV and a highly possible failed to detonate VBIED situation, whether or not it was a failed VBIED attack I don’t know, but when you have indicators there that are pretty much 100% well you just gotta trust your training and assume that it’s real. I clearly remember time slowing down, and my whole life starting to flash before me in order from young to present. Things of should of done, should not have done, should of said or didn’t say. Thoughts of well we’re either all going to be killed in the next 5 seconds or we’re going to live to see another day. Inner anger filled me as I was just enraged that this guy had got the drop on us without us knowing. I couldn’t tell you what day it was, but I know that those 30 seconds of time in Afghanistan that felt like 3 minutes are clearly burned into memory.
I have posted this on here before but I post it again. PTSD is a issue that is in need of constant attention not one day or a week or month a year. Help a Vet if they are in need of help.